Wibbily Wobbily Timey Wimey (and all that malarkey)
by Lolsome-o-sis girl
Summary: [Hints of Tom/Lexi; "Imagine your OTP as the Doctor and their companion."] In which Lexi is the time-travelling alien we all love who is oblivious to Tom's advances, and Varg is as sour-faced as he ever was and determined to wind Tom up.


**Wibbily Wobbily Timey Wimey (and all that** **malarkey** **)**

 _Fandom: Wizards Vs Aliens_

 _Rating: K+_

 _Genre: Humor, Sci-fi_

 _Pairing: Hints of Tom/Lexi (if you squint)_

 _Word count: 675_

 _Summary: ["Imagine your OTP as the Doctor and their companion."] In which Lexi is the time-travelling alien we all love who is oblivious to Tom's advances, and Varg is as sour-faced as he ever was_ _and determined to wind Tom up_ _. Hints of Tom/Lexi if you squint. ONESHOT._

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 **AN: How could I not? This was so much fun. Should this technically be a crossover fic? I wasn't sure, so I just posted it here.**

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 **DISCLAIMER. I do not own Wizards Vs Aliens, or Doctor Who.**

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 **Prompt:** _Imagine your OTP as the Doctor and their companion._

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"This is so stupid."

Lexi glanced up from the piece of intricate machinery she was dismantling, a bemused expression on her face. "Pray tell, human, would you care to elaborate on what is so stupid, as you put it?"

Varg, who was perched on the nearby chair with a book open on his lap, scowled down at her. "This _My special time travelling box is bigger on the inside_ speech you keep giving us. Everybody knows that you cannot have a bigger object inside a smaller object. That's just ridiculous."

The alien girl let out a sigh, pushing a strand of her blonde hair from her face. "Honestly. What's the point in having you here if you're not going to listen to a word I say?" She shook her head. "You. Tim."

The boy crouched next to her rolled his eyes. "It's Tom."

"Whatever. Tim. Tom. Other human. The Nice One. It makes no difference. Pass me the Zeus Plug." Tom did so; she nodded in thanks, before returning to her conversation with Varg. "Now, listen to me, Annoying One. I'm not going to tell you this again. My _special time travelling box_ , as you so crudely put it -"

"But, that's what it is!"

" _She_ has a name. And you'd do well to remember it, unless you want to spend another night in the swimming pool. Anyway, as I was saying -"

"It's another dimension."

"It's basically another dimen - What?" Lexi turned to glance at the boy next to her, looking slightly miffed at the fact that he was stealing her thunder. She did so look forward to snubbing Varg every chance she got given.

Tom shrugged. "Unlike some people -" He used this opportunity to glare at Varg. "- I've actually been paying attention to you."

"Oh." Lexi blinked, as if she couldn't quite comprehend this information. "Right. Yes. I see. Well, then. Ten points to you, Nice One." Her eyes slid back to the technology still in her hand. "Screwdriver." Tom handed it over, watching as she poked amongst the wires.

"So..." He began, filling the sudden awkward silence. "So, um, what's your favourite...weather?"

Lexi's eyebrow rose. "Stormy. I love a good storm."

"How...pleasant."

"Hm." Was all he got in reply. Tom cleared his throat, and then tried again.

"What are you...uh, doing right now?"

Lexi paused in her routine altogether, tilting her head slightly as she turned to look at him. "Human. If I were to explain _exactly_ what I was doing to this piece of technology - something that makes your smartphones and your Tweeter, Twitter, whatever it is, look like child's play - would you even _begin_ to understand?"

"Not really -"

"Well, shut up, then."

Varg snorted from his place on the chair. "Forget it, Tommy. She's oblivious."

"I'm not oblivious to anything, I'll have you know!" Lexi's attention snapped to him, her expression wounded at the suggestion that there was something she did not know or understand. "I have a functioning knowledge of _everything_ in the universe."

"Really?" Varg put his book to one side, and folded his arms.

"Yes. Really." Lexi mimicked the position.

"Then, why was the _Nice One_ , as you put it, asking you those dull, unimportant questions?" He leaned slightly to his right to grin malevolently at the boy sitting on the floor, who was trying to disguise his red face with a fake coughing fit.

Lexi thought this through for a moment. "Because, unlike you, he actually shows some interest in what I'm doing. That, and he's polite. Unlike some humans I could name."

"Uh hu." Varg looked even more amused. "And, why is that? Why is he so polite to you?"

"Because," she replied dryly, "he has no one else to talk to."

Varg let out a loud chortle. Tom looked even more mortified than before, glowering at the other human when he thought that the alien wasn't looking. Lexi glanced between them, before shaking her head.

"Sometimes, I really don't understand you humans see in each other."


End file.
